I can't believe that it has been nearly a month since my last post.
If you've been following me on buzz you'll know that I've been doing a joke a day. I started Feb 18, so now I've gone for 2 months, with a new joke each day, without once having to look one up. I'm surprised by this. Today's joke had a musical component that needed to be heard, so it is on youtube.
Stories like this make me sad. Nothing will compensate that man's loss or replace what was stolen, but the county deserves to lose that case.
Moving on, on Hacker News a while ago I tried to explain why quantum mechanics and the general theory of relativity conflict with each other. That may be of interest. I sent that link to a well-respected researcher, John Baez, and he thought the explanation was reasonable in so far as it went. Then he recommended the far more detailed explanation at http://arxiv.org/abs/gr-qc/9310031. (Look for the Download box at the upper right.) Having read it, that explanation is far longer, but gives much more depth than mine. Be warned that my reaction was, "Now that I've read it I feel less educated on the subject than before. Not because I didn't learn anything, but because I was reminded of how much physics I never learned... I was reassured to learn that C.J. Isham has that effect on many physicists as well.
What else did I mean to talk about and didn't? Oh right. I read The Back of the Napkin: Solving Problems and Selling Ideas with Pictures. On the whole it was a very good book, but it had a spectacularly poorly chosen example at the end. The example was a hypothetical firm selling accounting software named SAX Inc. Despite being the market leader its revenue was not growing as the market expanded, and some low end open source platforms were growing rapidly. Economic projections showed that it was poised to lose huge amounts of market share to these new competitors in the near future, and the question is what it should do.
Now if you're ever in a situation that looks vaguely like this, I've got a recommend. Reach for The Innovator's Solution, read it, understand it, get every executive in your company to understand it, and follow its advice as best you can. Because you're on the wrong side of an disruptive innovation, so you want to see what has been tried in that situation, what worked and not (mostly not), and need to understand the organizational reasons for that.
If you don't know what a disruptive innovation is, that is the scenario where an established market with established companies has competition from a new kind of product which is not good enough for the market, but which will become so with projected technological improvement. In this situation what happens is that over time technology improves, the ecosystem of companies that grew up with the (initially) crappy technology take over, and the established companies see their market implode. For a fuller explanation and lots of examples, read The Innovator's Dilemma. That gives the theory, and then the follow-up, The Innovator's Solution, gives a lot more detail on why companies repeatedly make the same bad choices.
Suffice it to say that The Back of the Napkin comes up with a solution, and it is a solution that I guarantee will fail. And as part of the reasoning they manage to come up with a software development project that is much more ambitious than anything that the company has tried before, and gave some suspiciously precise estimates of how much time and money it will take. If you don't know what is wrong with that, go read Software Estimation by Steve McConnell. (If you are responsible for anything to do with scheduling software development, I highly recommend that book on general principle. Steve McConnell's books on software development range from good to classic, and that is on the higher end of the scale.)
None of this is to say that The Back of the Napkin is a bad book. It is not. Indeed if it were then I'd be less pained by the bad example. But it had the opportunity to explain a bunch of very important things to an audience that normally doesn't hear those things, and didn't. Not only did it fail to explain them, it proceeded to actively misinform.
On a happier note I've also read Accelerando by Charles Strauss. I have to say, without hesitation, that it is the strangest book I've read. Let me give an example. Near the beginning some lobsters that got uploaded managed to escape over the Internet, take over a computer network, and turned themselves sentient. They ask the protagonist for help in getting away from human civilization because they don't want to be near us when technology goes critical. He succeeds. Then the book gets weird.
Don't get me wrong. It is a very good book, and I enjoyed it very much. But the whole point of the book is that technology is accelerating, and the result will be continuous future shock. The first few iterations you are lead into trying to understand how the future rapidly got more bizarre. In later iterations you're just following the personal story of humans with unbelievable technology trying to survive in a world where they are obsolete and unequipped to understand the universe around them.
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
On jokes
When I was in grad school I had the interesting problem of being a socially inept extrovert. Being an extrovert is OK. Being socially inept is survivable. But a socially inept extrovert is going to wind up being embarrassed. Repeatedly.
So I decided to do something about it. I decided that I'd learn to tell jokes. So I began following rec.humor.funny and would regularly inflict what I thought the funniest jokes were on people around me.
At first my delivery sucked and they wouldn't laugh, or would only laugh politely. Over time my delivery improved and people began laughing for real. Eventually I gained enough social skills to realize that telling bad jokes wasn't the best way towards a normal social life improve my social skills, but kept on doing it anyways because it was fun.
So why are jokes funny? Why do we laugh? When I reflect on it, I don't really know the answer. What I do know is that the structure of a joke inevitably sets up some tension, then relieves it in an unexpected way, and then people laugh. If you can't set up the tension, and then release it, people won't laugh. And once people have started laughing, it is easier to keep them laughing.
To see this in a simple example, consider the lowly pun:
As soon as you hear the question, you know what is coming. And you try to figure it out. Then you hear the answer, see how it connects, and (hopefully) laugh.
Many jokes rely on cultural references, often topical:
If I tell those jokes to the right people I am guaranteed a good laugh. If I tell them to the wrong person I'll get a blank look. Unless you're up on current scandals, have lived somewhere where opossums are common road kill, know that area of NJ or are familiar with stereotypes about NY and LA, those jokes won't cause a laugh.
Those jokes actually work with reasonably broad audiences. Some jokes only work with niche audiences. For example this only works with anglophones who know a little French. (I have great luck with Canadians on this one.)
What is interesting about this is that I find it is the act of having to translate it that makes it funny. Living in Southern California I've tried to switch to Spanish, but it simply doesn't work. People hear "No problemo, mate!" as English instead of Spanish, so don't find it funny. But the French version forces the mental translation. For different reasons francophones who speak some English don't find it funny for the simple reason that they don't understand the cultural reference about Australians.
Now many people have told me that they can't remember jokes. Let me give a longish joke to illustrate the problems people encounter.
(Incidentally that is one of my wife's favorites.)
Now the first problem people have in remembering a joke like this is that by the time they've heard the end of it, they've forgotten most of it. Memory is an odd thing. We don't realize it, but anything you remember 30 seconds is actually in long term memory. However we've got many levels of long term memory. So just because you've remembered something for 30 seconds doesn't mean that you'll remember it 5 minutes later. If you're going to remember something, you have to work for it. What you're going to need to do is remind yourself on a schedule until it really sticks. My minimal effective schedule is about 30 seconds later, 5 minutes later, again that day, then again the next day, then again sometime in the next week.
And that leads into the second problem. When people hear a joke like this, the most memorable thing is what sticks in your mind. So people remember, "Thith ith cwap, want a toothbwuth?" and then have no referent from which to remember how to start the joke. Or if they start the joke, they keep on jumping directly to the punch line. But it doesn't work without the build-up.
What you've therefore got to do is learn that, "Joke ___ starts with ___". And then you need to practice telling it. And every time you go off track, you've got to back up just slightly, and start telling it, correctly, from before you make the error. This is a subtle and important point that people miss. If you practice telling it, mess up, then start right at the error then you're practicing making the error. And you'll never stop making the error. You've got to practice leading up to the potential error without making the error to get it right. (This is something I learned in choir, but it works for jokes as well as it does for songs.)
And then the third problem is that no matter how many jokes you tell, and how well you tell them, you will forget jokes. I've told hundreds of different jokes. At no point do I remember most of them. Or even most of the good ones. But as long as you have some good ones, that doesn't matter.
Enough on telling jokes, what makes them funny?
As I said, I've noticed that the sudden release of tension is an element. The corollary of this is that it is easier for a joke to be funny when it's about something we have tension about. For instance if you want to make a pre-school child laugh, talk about poop.
Of course grown-ups don't have so much tension around potty training, but we do around sex. Which is why most of us remember and like dirty jokes. Like these.
And to finish, here is the dirtiest joke that I am willing to repeat in public:
So I decided to do something about it. I decided that I'd learn to tell jokes. So I began following rec.humor.funny and would regularly inflict what I thought the funniest jokes were on people around me.
At first my delivery sucked and they wouldn't laugh, or would only laugh politely. Over time my delivery improved and people began laughing for real. Eventually I gained enough social skills to realize that telling bad jokes wasn't the best way towards a normal social life improve my social skills, but kept on doing it anyways because it was fun.
So why are jokes funny? Why do we laugh? When I reflect on it, I don't really know the answer. What I do know is that the structure of a joke inevitably sets up some tension, then relieves it in an unexpected way, and then people laugh. If you can't set up the tension, and then release it, people won't laugh. And once people have started laughing, it is easier to keep them laughing.
To see this in a simple example, consider the lowly pun:
Q: What is the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
A: One requires tweetment while the other requires oinkment!
As soon as you hear the question, you know what is coming. And you try to figure it out. Then you hear the answer, see how it connects, and (hopefully) laugh.
Many jokes rely on cultural references, often topical:
Q: What is the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?
A: Santa stopped at three hos.
Q: Why did the possum cross the road?
A: There was a car coming.
Q: Why are New Yorker's so cynical?
A: The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey!
Q: What is the difference between NY and LA?
A: In NY people say, "Fuck you!" and just mean, "Have a nice day!" In LA people say, "Have a nice day!" and mean "Fuck you!"
If I tell those jokes to the right people I am guaranteed a good laugh. If I tell them to the wrong person I'll get a blank look. Unless you're up on current scandals, have lived somewhere where opossums are common road kill, know that area of NJ or are familiar with stereotypes about NY and LA, those jokes won't cause a laugh.
Those jokes actually work with reasonably broad audiences. Some jokes only work with niche audiences. For example this only works with anglophones who know a little French. (I have great luck with Canadians on this one.)
Q: How do Australians say, "You're welcome" in French?
A: (in your best Australian accent) "Pas de probleme, mate!"
What is interesting about this is that I find it is the act of having to translate it that makes it funny. Living in Southern California I've tried to switch to Spanish, but it simply doesn't work. People hear "No problemo, mate!" as English instead of Spanish, so don't find it funny. But the French version forces the mental translation. For different reasons francophones who speak some English don't find it funny for the simple reason that they don't understand the cultural reference about Australians.
Now many people have told me that they can't remember jokes. Let me give a longish joke to illustrate the problems people encounter.
A little girl decided that she wanted to sell toothbrushes. So she went to a manager at a manufacturer and convinced him that, even though she was young, there was no harm in giving her a try. So he gave her her chance.
The first day she showed up, took her sample, went out, and came back. He asked, "How did you do today?" She said, "I thold ONE toothbwuth!" He said, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to do better than that if this is going to work out."
The second day she showed up, took her sample, went out, and came back. He asked, "How did you do today?" She said, "I thold TWO toothbwutheth!" He said, "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to do a lot better than that if this is going to work out."
The third day she showed up, took her sample, went out, and came back. He asked, "How did you do today?" She said, "I thold THREE THOUTHAND toothbwutheth!" He said, "Three thousand? Wow! How did you do that?" She said, "Well, I went to the mall and offered people chipth and dip. They thaid, 'Thith tathtth like cwap!' I thaid, 'Thith ith cwap, want a toothbwuth?'"
(Incidentally that is one of my wife's favorites.)
Now the first problem people have in remembering a joke like this is that by the time they've heard the end of it, they've forgotten most of it. Memory is an odd thing. We don't realize it, but anything you remember 30 seconds is actually in long term memory. However we've got many levels of long term memory. So just because you've remembered something for 30 seconds doesn't mean that you'll remember it 5 minutes later. If you're going to remember something, you have to work for it. What you're going to need to do is remind yourself on a schedule until it really sticks. My minimal effective schedule is about 30 seconds later, 5 minutes later, again that day, then again the next day, then again sometime in the next week.
And that leads into the second problem. When people hear a joke like this, the most memorable thing is what sticks in your mind. So people remember, "Thith ith cwap, want a toothbwuth?" and then have no referent from which to remember how to start the joke. Or if they start the joke, they keep on jumping directly to the punch line. But it doesn't work without the build-up.
What you've therefore got to do is learn that, "Joke ___ starts with ___". And then you need to practice telling it. And every time you go off track, you've got to back up just slightly, and start telling it, correctly, from before you make the error. This is a subtle and important point that people miss. If you practice telling it, mess up, then start right at the error then you're practicing making the error. And you'll never stop making the error. You've got to practice leading up to the potential error without making the error to get it right. (This is something I learned in choir, but it works for jokes as well as it does for songs.)
And then the third problem is that no matter how many jokes you tell, and how well you tell them, you will forget jokes. I've told hundreds of different jokes. At no point do I remember most of them. Or even most of the good ones. But as long as you have some good ones, that doesn't matter.
Enough on telling jokes, what makes them funny?
As I said, I've noticed that the sudden release of tension is an element. The corollary of this is that it is easier for a joke to be funny when it's about something we have tension about. For instance if you want to make a pre-school child laugh, talk about poop.
Of course grown-ups don't have so much tension around potty training, but we do around sex. Which is why most of us remember and like dirty jokes. Like these.
Micky Mouse and his lawyer were talking. "I'm sorry Mr. Mouse, but the fact that your wife is crazy is not grounds for divorce." "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy!"
Q: What is the difference between good, very good, and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
A little girl asked her dad for a GI Joe doll. He said, "Why do you want a GI Joe doll?" "For Barbie to play with." "I thought Barbie came with Ken?" "No, Barbie comes with GI Joe. She fakes it with Ken."
And to finish, here is the dirtiest joke that I am willing to repeat in public:
A businessman was going on a trip. So he decided to get his wife a special present to keep her happy while he was gone. Knowing her tastes, he decided to go to a sex shop.
Looking around the shop, nothing caught his eye. Sure they had a good selection of dildos, vibrators, and what not, but his wife was pretty experienced and nothing was really special. So he asked the woman who ran it.
She said, "Well I do have the voodoo penis, but I'm not sure I really want to sell it." "The what?" "Voodoo penis." Even though it was not really for sale, his curiosity was up and he convinced her to bring it out.
She went in back and came out with a weird wooden box. She opened it up and there was a wooden dildo with all sorts of strange occult symbols on it. He said, "Well that looks weird, but it's basically just a dildo." She said, "That's because you haven't seen what it can do."
Then she said, "Voodoo penis, the door!" And the voodoo penis flew out of the box, flew up to the door and began banging on it. Then she said, "Voodoo penis, the table!" It went over and began banging on the table. Then she said, "Voodoo penis, the box!" and it went back into the box.
When he saw this, he knew his wife had to have it. A thousand bucks later she was convinced to sell it, and he took it home. And he gave it to his wife with the instructions, "If you get bored while I'm gone, just lie back, get comfy, open the box and say, 'Voodoo penis, my crotch!' and you'll have an interesting experience."
She thought it was odd, but she accepted the present. And while he was away on his trip she decided that she would give it a try. Despite how silly she felt about it she took her clothing off, laid back, opened the box, and said, "Voodoo penis, my crotch!"
Of course the voodoo penis flew out and began fucking her! It was amazing! Soon she had a wonderful orgasm. But it wasn't all brute strength, because before long it had brought her back to a peak and she had a second! After her third, she decided that this was a good thing but she'd had enough for now. Besides, she was getting sore.
So she said, "Voodoo penis, stop!" It didn't. She tried grabbing it and pulling it out. She wasn't strong enough. Desperate she decided to throw on a dress and go to the hospital. Unfortunately, halfway to the hospital, she went off the road during yet another orgasm and hit a tree.
As she was lying there in her car the policeman came up and asked why she hit the tree. She said, "Because (pant) I'm being (ooh) fucked by (pant) a voodoo penis!" "You're what?" "Being (oooh) fucked (gasp) by a voodoo penis! (pant)" "Yeah, right. Voodoo penis, my ass!"
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